I’ve always been a bit of a Leftie. I worried that I might become more right wing as I got older and had children, but that didn’t happen. If anything, having children galvanised my political leanings; the social issues seemed all more important than ever before, once I’d bought two little lives into being; particularly health care and education.
Sure, there’d been a dip in political passion during the New Labour disillusionment years, but my inherent socialism experienced a revival after the birth of my second child. This was due in part to 1) reading Chavs: The Demonization of the Working Class by Owen Jones and 2) Jeremy Corbyn becoming leader of the Labour Party. On the second point I felt that finally, here was a Labour leader who actually sounded like a socialist and, more importantly, practised what he preached.
But I’m very aware that although I wholeheartedly agree with the party line about being for the ‘many and not the few’ and I want healthcare and education to be free and accessible to all, I’m not always as nice a person as I’d like to be. I’m not as kind or generous as I would wish. Sometimes I actively hate other people - it’s usually when they bump into me and don’t say ‘sorry’ or decline to say ‘thank you’ when I hold the door open for them…(Surely good manners are about showing consideration for others though; acknowledging them?) but I’d really like to be more zen about things, kinder and more caring and more generous of spirit. I’d really like to be more Jeremy.
You may very well disagree - our politics may be wildly discordant. You may hate Jeremy Corbyn, I do know people who do (and I tend to think less of them for it…). A lot of people would have been put off reading this post by the title. Would it help if I replaced ‘Be more Jeremy’ with ‘Be more 'Zen'’? Or ‘Be more like the Buddha’? Or something about being kind to people ‘cos they’re fighting a struggle that you can’t see? I just think that ‘Be more Jeremy’ has a nice, catchy ring to it. You can pretend we’re talking about a different Jeremy if it helps (but please, not Clarkson, never him!) How about historical social reformer, Jeremy Bentham?
He (Jeremy Bentham) became a leading theorist in Anglo-American philosophy of law, and a political radical whose ideas influenced the development of welfarism. He advocated individual and economic freedom, the separation of church and state, freedom of expression, equal rights for women, the right to divorce, and the decriminalising of homosexual acts.[6]He called for the abolition of slavery, the abolition of the death penalty, and the abolition of physical punishment, including that of children.[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Bentham
Too leftie for you, still? Perhaps if we think of the 'Jeremy' in the title as being merely a symbol or conduit for good deeds, generous feelings and love.
Anyway, to any that I haven’t put off by my rampant socialism, I’ll continue.
I’m trying to adhere to my ‘be more Jeremy’ mantra by sticking to proper vegetarianism, rather than the lazy cop-out of pescetarianism (eating fish). I’m trying to give in to my better, kinder impulses, than to slip into the pettiness and irritability which normally characterizes daily life. It isn’t easy. I held the door open for a yoof the other day but had my headphones in so couldn’t hear whether she thanked me or not, so didn’t hang around to shame her in a passive-aggressive manner. I'm trying to be as complimentary and encouraging to people, without descending into phoney bullshit. I'm trying not to hold onto grudges...
My good intentions slipped though, the other day, friends, when I’d held *two sets of doors open for this f***er at work and hissed ‘You’re welcome!!’ over my shoulder at him when he declined to thank me….The thing is, he did say ‘cheers’ or something, rather sheepishly, (so perhaps it taught him some manners) but what actually happened (to me) was I was left feeling like a petty, spiky pedant, so was it really beneficial? (It was a really hot day and it’s a FACT that hot weather makes us grumpier: http://www.stylist.co.uk/life/summer-affects-mood-too-hot-irritable-moody-bad-tempered-study-psychology-science-belkin-kouchaki)
*The old man has just proof-read this piece and says that finds it amusing that my whole view of socialism seems to be channelled into the issue of holding doors open for people!
I’ve also read another study which says that kindness is the personality trait you are most likely to inherit from your parents:
We want our children to be kind, don’t we? I want my children to be confident and assertive but not at the expense of other people. I want them to have empathy. It seemed for a while as if kindness was going out of fashion, had become passe. People who showed any compassion were mocked and derided as ‘snowflakes’. Twitter seemed (still seems) like a constant out-spew of hatred and bile. People kept voting for things which seemed like an embodiment of a kick in the gut. Right-wing extremism was becoming normalised. One of my favourite tweets, from one of my favourite tweeters; Moose Allain, was:
I used to be a Nazi but I'm alt-right now
People kept saying that they didn't care about anybody else. Then, something rather lovely and amazing happened. More and more people started opting for something that felt more like a handshake, dare I say, even a hug. Of course I'm crudely analogising the results of the most recent election. But I dared to feel hopeful.
And, just as the handwritten parenting advice on my wall extols that 'calm breeds calm', it also follows that hope breeds hope and kindness breeds kindness.
If you have persevered with this until the end, your upper lip may be curled in a derisive sneer by now. You may be thinking that I've vastly over simplified some rather complex issues. But is it really so complicated? If you treat people with respect and consideration, then that's what you'll get back in return.
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