Monday 6 August 2018

The misadventures of an ersatz Wellness blogger


I’ve just come back from Cornwall - land of delightful contrasts; of huge crashing waves and calm, peaceful rockpools, of wide, expansive beaches and little coves, of hot days and breezy, misty nights, of crowds followed by peaceful seclusion. I could go on and on, rolling out platitudes but I’ll just leave you with one more image, as we drove over the border from Cornwall to Devon, we encountered a marvellous cloak of mist. I’m not a great fan of unflinchingly hot days so this styrofoam blanket of puffy whiteness gladdened my heart. Tall green trees and assertive pink rushes soaked in bubble bath over undulating hills. This is the England I remember from childhood holidays, I thought, with proper weather. ‘It looks like Scandinavia’, my husband remarked…It was a wrench to come back to the outskirts of the city. As I’ve said, I detest the heat but have sort of learn to tolerate it - investing in shapeless linen garments and drinking enough water to sink a ship, loitering in air-conditioned shops.




At the height of the heatwave, I had a moment of clarity.  I’ll just set the scene. It had been a particularly vile, hot and sticky day, it was the sort of weather which makes it impossible to be elegant, as one of the characters remarks in Emma.  Walking to the shops in the direct sunlight felt like being seared under a magnifying glass by a malevolent Greek God. When the sun went behind a cloud it was like walking through hot soup. I tried on some swimwear in a (blissfully air-conditioned) shop and when I removed my own clothes they were sodden with sweat. I felt guilty about transferring any bodily emissions onto the ill-fitting tankini top I was trying on, then I thought about all the other sweaty torsos that  might have squashed themselves into the same swimwear and I felt rather queasy. It seemed like an unending period of unremitting discomfort. However, later on, in the evening, after the kids had gone to bed, and I had my second shower of the day, I felt something approaching ease.  I sat, sipping a cup of camomile tea and nibbling on some grapes while the fan gently lifted damp strands of my freshly washed hair. It was the first time that day that I'd felt fresh and clean. If it wasn’t for the fact that my body looked like a set of bagpipes, I’d feel like one of those ‘Wellness’ bloggers, I noted. But maybe what the world needs is a ‘Wellness’ blogger who doesn’t look like a shaving of blonde wood, maybe there’s a gap in the market for one who looks more like an ancient fertility goddess…


Back to the heatwave, the next day it finally rained and it was oh so welcome. One of my teachers once told us that rain literally plucked the dust from the air and that was why the air smelled cleaner after a rain shower. Botanist James Wong tweeted the following fact about the smell in the air, after the rain:


So there it was, I had my first topic as a wellness blogger - smells! I’ve been wanting to write about happy smells for some time and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. When I opened the bathroom cabinet the other day I got a pleasant waft from the stash of Body Shop soaps  - pleasant, clean, citrousy smells. Dare I say - mood enhancing smells. My other half and I once had a debate about the fact that he said that the orange I was eating ‘stank’. And I said surely the word stink should only apply to something with an unpleasant smell, not something as wholesome as an orange. Of course it’s all relative, but an orange has a lovely, happy smell - sharp yet sweet. An orange is the embodiment of sunshine and hope, just as a broad bean is the physical manifestation of a disappointment and flatulence. 




Is there such a thing as a mood enhancing smell? Some claim that there is. 
https://www.psychologies.co.uk/boost-your-mood-happy-scents
Wood shaving-shaped wellness bloggers probably believe in them. Years ago someone bought my friend a candle which looked like the wax had been placed in a hollowed out orange. It smelled beautiful and claimed to give off an 'uplifting’ aroma. Closer investigation showed that it was a bergamot rather than an orange. (Bergamots are what they flavour Earl grey tea with which I've tried to like but can't). The point is though that bergamots are citrus fruit and thus related to oranges (this post really should have been called - ‘All hail the mighty orange’!)  And guess what seems to be on every list of mood enhancing smells - citrus, apparently citrus makes you feel more alert. So perhaps I ought to carry a Body Shop orange soap around in my handbag and sniff it during meetings.

Happy smells:

Fir trees/Christmas trees
Bonfires
Wood chips
Ozone - seaside (Do smells have seasons?)
Roses (real not in perfume)
Lavender (please see above)  
Floral smells seem to be very subjective - perhaps due to the emotional memories associated with lilies etc.

Can smells be comforting? Soup, bread, lavender?

As you can probably see, I’m out of practice with the blogging and this is all a bit rambly. What does this all have to do with eating grapes and drinking camomile tea?? I don’t really know, but if I am going to be a Wellness blogger then I’d better toddle off and do some power yoga or something.


Now SHE looks like a 'Wellness' blogger!

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