Dear reader, like me, do you enjoy a ‘triumph against adversity’ story? If so then come this way, you are in for a treat!
I recently had the great honour of attending a talk given by the poet and playwright, Lemn Sissay. I'd watched a YouTube video of Sissay, reading some of his poetry, before I attended his talk, and he has an immense presence - his energy and charisma bombard you from the stage.
Lemn Sissay's story is certainly compelling - it is shocking, devastating and, ultimately, hopeful.
He was born in 1967. His mother was from Ethiopia and was studying in Britain when she found herself pregnant and alone. She was placed in a mother and baby unit and strong armed into giving Lemn up. He was placed in foster care, and, although his mother never signed the adoption papers, his social worker told Lemn’s foster parents to view it as an adoption. Lemn was named ‘Norman’ at the bequest of the social worker who placed him in care, also called Norman! The foster parents were fiercely religious Christians. Lemn remembers a happy, joyful early childhood, where he felt the whole world ‘smiled at him’; as described in is his interview on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs:
His world was ripped apart when, aged 12, his foster parents decided that he was too naughty and gave him back into care, with no further contact. (At the talk I attended, he said that they didn’t even hug him goodbye.) He cites standard, childhood/adolescent indiscretions like staying out too late, taking biscuits from the tin without saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and smoking, for the reasons his foster parents had for viewing him as some kind of demonic force or evil Trojan horse, designed to bring their family down from within. He went from being part of a family (the couple who'd fostered him had gone on to have 3 other biological children) with grandparents, aunts and uncles, to being placed in a series of children’s homes. He was the only black child in these homes and suffered much brutality there. The social worker who came to pick him up from the foster family pulled over into a lay-by and told him:
‘None of this is your fault.’
Lemn started writing poetry, aged 12 and at 17, when he left care, used his dole money to self-publish pamphlets of his poems. His reputation spread by word of mouth and he was picked up by a publisher, aged 20.
He used the proceeds from his book sales to fund his search for his biological family. At 17 he had been given some of his records and found that his mother hadn’t wanted him to be adopted and that his name wasn’t Norman Mark Greenwood but Lemn Sissay.
Lemn Sissay overcame extremely difficult circumstances and the most horrendous rejections, from both his foster parents and biological family, to become a successful writer and broadcaster and the Chancellor of Manchester University. There was a picture of him in his Chancellor robes, on a screen at the talk. He grinned as he turned to it and said:
‘That’s what a care leaver looks like.’
Someone in the audience asked him how he’d got to where he is today; how he’d overcome adversity and he listed giving up drinking and undergoing therapy as the best things he had done.
It's difficult to imagine what it must feel like to be jettisoned from the family you've grown up in, by the people you called 'Mum' and 'Dad', and then to go on to have a difficult reunion with your biological mother. It must have taken enormous drive for Lemn to promote his poetry, which he sold to miners and millworkers. As well as being hopeful, his story is inspirational; demonstrating the power of perseverance!
As he says in the introduction to Gold from the Stone - Canongate Books 2016,
'I am not defined by my scars but by the incredible ability to heal.'
The talk was attended by academics, students, social workers and care leavers. It was a very emotional experience as people shared their own experiences of being in care or of fostering, themselves. It was also one of those illuminating, life-affirming events that make you glad you attended. It felt like a privilege to hear Lemn’s life story, as well as the stories of the other care leavers, and listen to him reading one of his poems. My only regret is that I didn’t wait around for the book signing!
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