No animals were harmed in the making of this hair shirt

This is what I wrote last night:
So - Veganuary: I'm sorry to be such a massive disappointment to you, reader, but I’m already regretting saying that I’d do it...
I miss chocolate, I miss having milk in my tea, I miss not having to scrutinise every single food label. (And I'm only one day in!!)

The jury is out on whether a vegan diet is a fundamentally healthy one; (whether it's healthier than one that is merely vegetarian, that is) it very much depends on what you chose to eat, I once worked with a vegan who seemed to subsist wholly on Hula Hoops and Square Crisps, that can't have been nutritionally sound. The bottom line is that people who go vegan, obviously do it for ethical reasons. I realise that when I listed my reasons for trying out the veganuary thing, I didn’t mention the animal welfare aspect of it. This is because, if I’m honest, I don’t really have much of a problem with eating products that have come from animals, I just don’t want to eat the animals themselves and I don't want them to be harmed on my behalf. When I gave up eating meat, 27 years ago, I didn't feel any comparable push to give up dairy products; as long as the animals were treated fairly, did it really matter? Of course a committed vegan would say that they aren't treated well or fairly and that we humans shouldn't be harnessing sentient beings for our own ends. They are probably right; there is no reason for adult animals to drink milk; milk is a food in itself, once you are weaned you shouldn't need it but I guess I've closed my mind off to this for all these years because I like the taste of cheese. Not just this though - it's so much easier to be a vegetarian than it is to be a vegan, as I'm only just finding out.

I’d gone to the health food shop, on New Year's Eve, with a palpable feeling of excitement; like the poor, misguided fool I was, I was actually looking forward to the whole thing! I bought my vegan ‘chicken’ pieces, faux-sage rolls and ginger tea and rubbed my hands together in delighted anticipation. (I didn't intend living on fake meat, just thought it would be useful to have some as a back up, to supplement all the hand blended bean pates and vegetable stews I was going to produce...) Walked out of the shop significantly poorer. Hello, healthy new me, I thought.

Only a couple of days in and I felt a bit miserable. What’s the big deal? I [don't] hear you ask, why should giving up eggs and dairy be so difficult? I found out why it should be so difficult as I made my first cup of tea of the day with rice milk. That rice milk did not turn my brew into the delightful pale terracotta I’m used to, in fact, it seemed to sink to the bottom of the cup and failed to change it into anything other than a muddy, murky brown. Coffee with rice milk is no great shakes either. I've found that I prefer to drink tea black.

We took the kids to the cinema on New Year's Day and got a coffee because we were early. I had a soy milk latte - the first sip was OK but the drink didn’t improve upon acquaintance and left a funny aftertaste. Then, in the cinema, just as I was about to pinch a handful of my younger daughter's popcorn, the older one hissed across at me;

“Daddy said to tell you it’s got butter on it.” My hand opened like a mechanised crane and the popcorn cascaded back into the box. I felt a little hard done by - the (rather oily tasting) rice milk porridge had been eaten a long time ago.

(We researched it later - the popcorn did NOT contain any dairy!)

After the cinema we went to a Lebanese restaurant for lunch (I’d already looked up the menu to see if they had any vegan options and there were a couple of things we could eat) and I had a rather nice falafel and fatoush salad, accompanied by a carrot and ginger juice - you can't get any more disgustingly healthy than that combo, can you? It looks a bit messy because I forgot to take the picture before I'd already attacked one of the falafel.

(Please don't contact me now to tell me that the salad isn't really vegan and that they rub the lettuce against the cheeks of goats to give it its flavour, will you.)
The lunch was very tasty although, if I ordered it again I’d get a side of humus. However, perhaps I’m imagining this, but isn’t everything somewhat vinegary and acidic when you don’t have any dairy?

We dropped the kids off at the in-laws and I regretfully declined a Ferrero Rocher. When we got home I ate loads of spiced oat cakes (vegan) and I discovered with alarm that the bucket of kids’ sweets that I’d been gleefully gorging on since Christmas, contained gelatine! Here I was, trying to be vegan and I found out for the last week of December, I hadn't even been vegetarian! I ignored the label on a bottle of wine as I poured myself a glass - by that point, I didn’t even care if it was vegan or not, I just wanted a glass.

Had a very carby dinner of faux-sage rolls, beans and oven chips and went to bed feeling bloated and somewhat disgusted with myself. This wasn’t supposed to happen - wasn’t I supposed to feel all light and saintly and sanctimonious?

Today has been a better day, I walked into town and stocked up on vegan brownies (really frigging expensive) and had a very nice lunch at the Vegetarian restaurant. I was able to order vegan garlic bread, without embarrassment, and had a rather delicious aubergine dish:
V, WF - Sweet Potato & Aubergine African Sweet Potato, Aubergine, Fine Beans, Carrots, Pineapple cooked in Peanut Butter & Tomato Sauce (no onion , no garlic)

Most of their dishes are vegan (including the desserts - even though I didn't have one, it's good to know).

Of course, I can't afford to eat out the whole time and it's only because it's a bank holiday weekend and we had a babysitter for today, that I've eaten out so much. I really need to get cooking next!

Red lentil kedgeree - one of the dishes that they do at the Veggie restaurant