A Christmas Story

Crackers

Lee wrote ‘Happy Christmas’ in the condensation on the window.  She forgot to write it backwards so it would read properly to people outside and Arun did a mongi face at her.

“Do you celebrate Christmas?” Mrs Jakes had asked in that high-pitched, slightly girlish voice of hers, head to one side, eyes leaching understanding.

“Yeah.” Lee had said, and Mrs Jakes gave her a card for her Mum and Dad. It was one of those cheap ones that didn’t stand up properly. She wondered what her teacher would have done with the card if she’d said that they didn’t celebrate Christmas, but when her mum opened the card they saw that it wasn’t actually addressed to anyone, simply signed;

‘Best wishes, Caroline Jakes’.

The teacher had seemed very grateful for the present that Lee gave her.

“I shall put it under my tree.” She'd said.

Dad had wanted to get her a bottle of gin but mum said it wasn’t appropriate as they didn’t know whether she drank or not, so they’d given her a bottle of bubble bath instead.

Dad and Arun met Uncle Ray and Auntie Priya at the station. Lee liked Auntie Priya, she was pretty, she smiled all the time and she never asked them about their homework like the other grown-ups.

Uncle Ray clapped Lee on the back, looked around and told Dad that they really should move to a bigger place but Auntie Priya just said;

“Oh, the tree looks so pretty - did you decorate it, Leora?” (Auntie Priya was the only person Lee didn’t mind using her full name).

Lee nodded proudly and stuck her tongue out at Arun - he had said that pink, green and blue tinsel didn’t go.

Because Auntie Priya was pregnant she was going to sleep in Lee’s bed and Uncle Ray would sleep on his own on the sofa-bed in the lounge. Lee was to sleep on a lilo on the floor next to Priya and she was excited about that.

“We can be like sisters.” She said.

“Yes, I always wanted a sister.” Priya, smiled.

In the morning she did Lee’s hair in a French plait.

“Shame you have to spoil the effect by wearing your exercise kit.” Dad said, looking at Lee’s A-Team tracksuit.

“It’s not an exercise kit; it’s a tracksuit!” Lee said, scathingly.

“Don’t be rude, Lee.” Her mum said warningly while Auntie Priya busied herself with the kettle.

Uncle Ray was watching Star Wars with Arun.

“I love this film!” Uncle Ray shouted. Lee wondered why he always had to shout.

“Peter Yates is getting a computer for Christmas.” Arun said, to no one in particular.

“Good for Peter Yates.” Mum said, pouring the tea.

“And he got a BMX for his birthday.”

“His mum must have robbed a bank.”

“Hardly!” Arun snorted. “She goes to Church.”

“Are you going to Church tonight, Cee-Cee? Midnight Mass?” Priya asked Mum.

“Oh no, I gave all that up-” She looked towards Dad who had taken the back off their old radio and had the bits all over the kitchen table. “I gave that up ages ago.”

“And what do you want for Christmas, Leora?” Priya asked.

“I’ve asked for a ‘Mr. Frosty’ and a ‘Magna-Doodle’.” Lee said, meaningfully.

Mum raised her eyebrows.

The Grown-ups went to visit their Uncle Raj and Lee went downstairs to play with Louise.

Louise’s Mum, Pat was pouring candied peel into a bowl while Lee watched in fascination.

“I suppose your mum makes the pudding weeks in advance, like you’re meant to, does she?”

Pat asked Lee.

“No, she buys it from the Co-op.” Lee replied and Pat smiled.

Lee went into Louise’s room and they played with her ‘Speak and Spell’ but the batteries were running low and the voice sounded even weirder than normal.

Louise lay back on her bed.

“Do you remember when you were little and your dad used to dress up as Father Christmas?”

“My dad never did that.” Lee said. “He always told us that Father Christmas wasn’t real.”

“He didn’t!”

“Yeah. Maybe he didn’t want us to believe in anything…”

“Are you really going to have curry for Christmas dinner?”

“No! I never said that.”

“Your mum told my mum.”

“Oh, well, I don’t know...”

“I wish we could have curry, I hate Turkey; it’s so boring!”

“Yes, I think we are having curry, actually.”

“Can I come round and have some?”

“Yeah, O.K.”

“Really? Your mum won’t mind?”

“Erm, no. She won’t mind.”

“Can Debs come too? She loves curry.  She likes your mum’s curry, anyway, she doesn’t like it from the Taj; she doesn’t like all those seedy bits they put in the rice.”

“O.K.” Lee was starting to worry now.

“She’s allergic to nuts so your mum will have to make sure that there’s no nuts in anything and that no nuts have touched anything; otherwise her neck swells up like a balloon.”

“Oh. O.K.” Lee said, thinking about the oval dish filled with Brazil nuts that her Dad loved.

On her way back upstairs, Lee stressed about the next day. Her parents always offered her friends food whenever they came round but how would they feel about Debs and Louise joining them for Christmas dinner? They didn’t even have enough chairs for everyone; not with Uncle Ray and Auntie Priya there.

When she got back to her flat there was a line of fizzy, yellow drinks on the sideboard.

“Your father has been making snowballs!” Uncle Ray boomed.

“Can I have one?” She picked up a drink.

“Yes, why not?” Ray said.

“They have got alcohol on them.” Mum said, doubtfully.

“Only a little bit; let the kid have a taste, it is Christmas!”

Lee had already put it to her lips.

“It tastes like ice-cream, it’s yummy.” She said, gulping down half the drink.

“What is Advocaat, anyway?” Auntie Priya asked, holding up a neon yellow bottle. Her cheeks were flushed.

“Ad-voh-car; it’s like eggnog, it’s made from eggs and brandy.” Mum said.

“Brandy! I’d better not have any more.” Priya said, patting her tummy.

“I’ve got some ‘Five Alive’ in the fridge; it’s alright if you mix it with soda.” Mum went to get some fruit juice for Priya and one for Lee and Arun too. Arun gulped down his ‘Snowball’ before Mum could take it away but Lee didn’t catch on in time and Mum wrestled her glass away from her.

They were curled up on the sofa watching The Sound of Music, with the big blanket over their legs when the doorbell rang.  Mum, thinking it was carol singers, got her purse from the table.

“Lee - it’s Louise.” Mum called.

Lee felt like she’d been hit - she’d forgotten to tell her Mum about the extra ‘guests’.

Louise looked rueful.

“I can’t come to your house for Christmas dinner.” She said. “Mum says me and Debs have to eat with the family.”

“Oh...Shame!” Said Lee, hoping that her mother was too engrossed in the film to hear what Louise was saying.

“Tell your mum and dad to pop up for a sherry tomorrow.” Mum called out from the sofa.

“O.K. Auntie Cee-Cee.” Louise called.

“I’ll save you a bit of biryani too, if you like.” Mum said, passing Lee a long look.

“Oh, thanks!”

Louise went away happy and Lee went back to Julie Andrews, light of heart.