Review of the Year…..
I mean, really…. If I was to do this in the style of one of those round robin, Christmas letters that American people write, referring to themselves in the third person, I might say something like:
Shyama put on quite a lot of weight this year, meaning that every time she saw a photo of herself she was drenched in self loathing
Or
All our energies, as a family, were concentrated in trying to remain sane and not kill each other.
All very negative though, in’t it? It is very hard to remain positive at the moment and 2020 has been an absolute bastard of a year. But there have still been high points and I do realise how lucky I am.
You know those memes that go around saying - ‘even though you feel like shit, get up and put lipstick on’ and that sort of thing?
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| Very much not me with red lipstick on |
I don’t wear lipstick but it was in that kind of spirit that I bleached the hair on my upper lip this morning. My daughter came into the bathroom as I was doing it so she could do a poo (of course she did!) and said to me:
“If that white stuff’s to get rid of the hair on your face, why don’t you put it on your chin?”
“I don’t have hair on my chin, you cheeky mare!” I said, in the style of a 1950s cockney, while thinking - I don’t, do I? Have hair on my chin?
She said;
“You don’t have hair on your upper lip either.”
So perhaps she was trying to make some kind of profound comment on the nature of the standards we inflict on ourselves in the endeavour of fitting into societally imposed beauty ideals, I’m not sure.
By the way, I really like lipstick and appreciate the vampish red lips of other women but sadly it doesn’t seem to suit me. I watched a couple of episodes of 'Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries' and promptly bought a bright red lipstick and a cheap kimono from a well known, online retailer. The lipstick felt as alien to my face as some people report the wearing of contact lenses to be. I’d love to swish around, flicking my scarf over my shoulder and pouting vampishly but it was not to be.
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| The reality |
That’s quite enough about me, how about you? You need to give yourself a massive pat on the back for withstanding the pressures that have been thrown at you this year! You really do. And if you’ve binged, cried, shouted, indulged in a lot more ‘me’ time, got welded to your sofa, that’s all perfectly understandable.
A psychologist on the radio said that when we do video calls the brain doesn’t differentiate between seeing somebody irl and seeing somebody on the screen so it is actually a good thing to do if you’re feeling lonely. In all honesty I can sometimes find big group video calls a little tiring and sometimes stressful. But I’ve realised that on screen, as in real life, I prefer smaller gatherings - there’s more space to talk, less chance of inadvertently interrupting someone just as they are about to tell a killer anecdote and it just feels more friendly and intimate. I am an introvert though so you might prefer your zoom call to look like the opening scene of The Muppet Show, it’s up to you.
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| Zoom call |
I’d been toying with the idea of sponsoring a child for quite a while, had the tab open on my computer for months but it was reading about the work that Marcus Rashford had done this year, to try and make sure that school kids didn’t have to skip meals during the holidays, that finally pushed me to do something and set up the sponsor. I know this might sound sanctimonious and self congratulatory but, at this point, I don’t really care. I think that witnessing compassion has a positive effect and can inspire you to be a bit kinder in your own life. Not that my direct debit and letter to my sponsored child is on the same level of Marcus Rashford’s work, but they do say that any act of kindness, however small, is never wasted.
