Good News
With my last post, I gave you a beginning and middle but no ending, it was that most unsatisfying of things - a story without a resolution.
Well, without more preamble I’ll tell you that I had the lab results back on Friday and they were clear - ‘report does not show any malignancy’ - so, yippee!
I’ve always been a bit of a hypochondriac but I hadn’t been unduly worried about the mole until I saw the scientist Dr George McGavin talking on BBC Breakfast News about how his skin cancer - which started out as a black dot on his foot, had been misdiagnosed as a verruca:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/david-attenborough-consultant-told-deadly-17158497
I heard his story and it panicked me a bit - I had a small dark dot on my foot - would it turn out to be malignant melanoma?
Dr George McGavin seems to be responding well to his treatment and the new drug therapy he has been given has been successful but it could have been so much worse. So the lesson here, I guess, would be to still go to the doctor if you’re worried about a mole, or about anything else, and don’t be scared to get a second opinion.
Where are the loos?
Moving on, why are the women's toilets often miles away in a pub? I had this thought last night as I travelled through a labyrinth, down several flights of stairs and across multiple thresholds and doorways. I wrestled a Minotaur, had to answer a complex riddle and complete a muddy obstacle course before I was allowed to empty my bladder!
Do you know the Minotaur myth?
So, you're a queen and you see this bull and you think - I really want to have sex with that creature! Why? Because it has a big willy, presumably, and the myth was written by a man who thinks that that's what all women want. I mean, I'd be looking at the hooves and surmising that the bull wouldn't be very good at foreplay but there you go. Never mind the fact that someone has to build a complex maze to house the resulting offspring of your congress with said bull and then put a Ladies toilet at the end of it!
Whilst I was waiting for my lab results to come through I watched a lot of the comedy series, Miranda, on Netflix, and remembered why I liked it. There are lots of fart jokes and pratfalls but it also has a warm heart and the main character continually breaks the fourth wall, long before Phoebe Waller Bridge did it in Fleabag. I know, I know, two very different types of programme, don't @ me!
I love Miranda's decor in Miranda - as much as I used to enjoy the vicar's curtains in The Vicar of Dibley. It must be a decree that to be the main female character in a sitcom, you must have quirky furnishings. After all, that's all we women care about isn't it, thus proved by my mentioning it here!
But still, I love Miranda and I'm going to think about it next time I have the urge to gallop down a corridor at work, which is surprisingly frequently.
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In other news, my kids had brilliant school reports but I know as soon as I type this you'll hate me and think me smug, so don't worry, hate away! You're allowed.
Why do I keep buying clothes?
Also I keep buying dresses - I just can't seem to stop. Fuck - listen to me going on about sodding decor and dresses - what have I become?? But anyway, I wore one of the dresses last night and it was very comfortable and it's the only attire that's truly bearable in the summer so you can jog on with your judgements.
(I'm still quite an angry person, despite the dresses!) Sorry about that.
I realise that this post doesn't have a unifying theme. So let's just call it the beginning of July.
Gotta run, speak soon. Love Ooo! Xx
